Carnal Reason

My Powerbook is back from the shop, and just in time. The world is going to hell in a handbasket. Israel is kicking ass and some people are saying that it’s not Bush’s fault:

You can blame Bush for a lot of mistakes, and I do, but not for the latest turn in the seemingly eternal and eternally depressing Arab-Israeli conflict.

If (for the sake of argument) we stipulate that something is not entirely Bush’s fault, then that leaves only the Jews to blame. Or maybe not. From the Arab Times, of all places, we hear

The fate of the Lebanese is in the hands of a handful of reckless adventurers, who have prevented Arabs from making well-judged decisions. These adventurers have forced Saudi Arabia to issue a statement holding them responsible for the current episode of confrontation with Israel. Saudi Arabia’s stance on this issue has made Arab leaders fight each other during the Arab Summit. Arab leaders should be frank in admitting the sufferings of the people of Lebanon. For over 58 years Arabs have been trying to fight Israel. During this period they took a decision according to international resolutions to ensure there was no war. However, recently some organizations like the Hezbollah and Hamas Movement have been trying to violate these resolutions by calling for war.

This is the reason why Lebanon and Palestine have turned into battlegrounds for certain foreign countries at the expense of their own people. Unfortunately Iran and Syria are fighting the international community, especially the United States, in Lebanon and Palestine. Nobody is benefiting from this conflict, except Tehran and Damascus, which are using this issue to solve their problems with the international community without any care for the blood that is being shed in Lebanon and Palestine. The ultimate sufferers in the ongoing crisis are Lebanon and Palestine, which are back to square one.

Well, even if we can’t pin everything on Bush or the Jews, we’ll always have global cooling warming, which actually is responsible for all bad things. Global warming is Bush’s fault because he didn’t sign the Kyoto protocols in 1997 when the Senate voted 95-0 not to ratify (technically Clinton was President, but don’t tell anyone). And Bush is the Jews’ fault, since neo-cons are controlled by the Jewish lobby.

Ok, that’s better. Wouldn’t in be cool if global warming caused Jews, and the causal circle were complete? Keep your fingers crossed, maybe Iranian climate researchers will discover something useful.

Posted on July 20th, 2006 by pwyll
Filed under: politics