To infinity, and beyond

I was astounded to read this from the man of the extreme left. George Monbiot writes in the Guardian Unlimited:

There is a virus sweeping the world. It infects opponents of the Bush government, sucks their brains out through their eyes and turns them into gibbering idiots. First cultivated in a laboratory in the US, the strain reached these shores a few months ago. In the past fortnight, it has become an epidemic. Scarcely a day now passes without someone possessed by this sickness, eyes rolling, lips flecked with foam, trying to infect me.

The disease is called Loose Change. It is a film made by three young men that airs most of the standard conspiracy theories about the attacks of September 11 2001.

I can hardly believe the Bush-Rove mind control rays took Monbiot. I thought he was immune. But the truth is still out there. The author of one of the comments in the Guardian touches it, but he does not realize the enormity of what he has found.

Its almost like these people [the authors of Loose Change] were some kind of CIA front, because its very very convenient for Bush to have this happen.

He’s right. But he does not follow his initial insight to the final unthinkable truth. Would that I shared his innocence. I have seen the abyss, and can no longer bear it alone. So I unburden myself to you. Don’t bother to run; it’s too late. Your IP address has been noted. They’ll come for you soon. But until then, know the truth.

There are not just one or two conspiracies here. Oh no. There are infinitely many, intertwined like monstrous noodly appendages.

Conspiracy(1): Bush was responsible for 9/11.
Conspiracy(2): Conspiracy(1) is not true; it is a lie spread by Bush.
Conspiracy(3): Conspiracy(2) is not true; it is a lie spread by Bush.
…
Conspiracy(n): Conspiracy(n-1) is not true; it is a lie spread by Bush.

And so on, to Conspiracy(omega) and beyond.

So which of the infinitely many conspiracies is true? In defiance of mere logic, all of them are true. It’s Bush all the way down to perdition’s flame. In your doomed heart, you already knew that.

Posted on February 7th, 2007 by pwyll
Filed under: BDS, politics

5 Responses to “To infinity, and beyond”

  1. cardcarryinglibertarian, on February 8th, 2007 at 9:54 am Said:

    Thanks for setting me straight. All along I thought is was global warming.

  2. Paco Malo, on February 8th, 2007 at 9:57 am Said:

    CNN reports today that, in a small U.S. town, the play title “The Vagina Monologues” was a but much for local residents when it appeared on the theatre’s modest marquee. So now the marquee reads “The Hoo-Ha Monologues”. I’m sure the Bush-Cheney cabal is behind all this.

    Though my heart be doomed, I’m gonna stick, best as I can, to not defying mere logic.

  3. Paco Malo, on February 8th, 2007 at 10:53 am Said:

    Dear CCL,

    So you understood this post? I honestly don’t. What would the thesis sentence be?

    Paco

  4. pwyll, on February 8th, 2007 at 4:22 pm Said:

    Let me explain. Arch moonbat Monbiot showed a shred of common sense and integrity by debunking the grotesquely stupid conspiracy theory that Bush is behind 9/11. Immediately, someone argues that Bush is behind the convenient claim that Bush is behind 9/11. But why stop there? Surely Bush is behind the claim that Bush is behind the claim that Bush is behind 9/11. So I run with that idea. It’s satire.

    Notice the category of the post: BSD. Bush derangement syndrome, the madness that causes its victims to blame all possible events on Bush.

    For example, CCL mentions global warming. Everyone knows that global warming is real, that it is caused by humans, that it could have been avoided had the US signed Kyoto, and that it is Bush’s fault the US did not sign Kyoto. While governor of Texas, Bush used mind control rays to force a Democrat controlled Senate under President Clinton to vote down Kyoto 95-0. Ergo, Bush is responsible for global warming.

    Another example. Some people think global warming killed the dinosaurs. Bush is responsible for global warming, ergo Bush killed the dinosaurs. It’s all so clear once you awaken to the truth.

  5. Paco Malo, on February 9th, 2007 at 9:37 am Said:

    Thank you — I got it now.

    If ever I stray into any type of conspiracy theory, please, metaphorically, hurl me to the pavement.

    One problem I have here is it’s almost impossible for me to judge what it’s okay to blame George W. Bush for. The current President Bush did not kill the dinasours, but he has made some mistakes. Are those mistakes off the table for discussion?

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