Both Sides Now
Sheryl Crow has an an idea.
I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who’s judgement I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, “how bout just washing the one square out.”
I am dying to learn who Ms Crow believes has the mission and authority to regulate this rather personal matter. What enforcement regime does she envision?
I have remarked that a person who is not capable of determining what to put into her own mouth is not an adult. Ms Crow calls and raises. Not only does society have an interest in what goes in your mouth, it also has an interest in what happens at the other end.
I am impressed by Ms Crow’s brother’s suggestion of “washing the one square out”. I urge everyone who takes his advice to save water by making sure to use both sides of the square before washing it.
Posted on April 23rd, 2007 by pwyll
Filed under: nanny state
Entries RSS
One cheer for Ms Crowe’s giant leap backward!
I showed this quote to a friend who visited the old Soviet Union. She said outside the toilets sat an old lady who’s job it was to pass out single sheets of toilet paper. She and her fellow travelers called it “John Wayne Toilet Paper” because it wouldn’t take shit off anyone. Since it will be easy to wash I see a future career for Ms. Crowe’s brother.
Dooley
There’s really no telling whether the brother’s a nitwit or his own verbal John Wayne, right? I don’t know anything about him, although it does make one wonder, that Sheryl Crow trusts him implicitly even as she burbles on so.
In fact, it made me wonder if Sheryl herself was being ironic, so I read the rest of her post, and I must say, the more I read, the more credit I gave her for a wicked sense of humor. She’s proposed a detachachable “dining sleeve”, to save on wasted napkins? ha ha ha! A reality show in which ten people compete to have the greenest lifestyle, with the prize being a recording contract…. ha ha ha! she’s poking fun at herself with that one, I get it.
But then she mentioned that Laurie David was on tour with her, and I had doubts. Laurie David? Is this another joke?
http://media.www.thebatt.com/media/storage/paper657/news/2007/04/12/MailCall/Laurie.David.Is.A.Hypocrite-2837056.shtml
http://www.gasdetection.com/news2/health_news_digest51.html
So I went looking through her other posts. The Stop Global Warming Tour? Ahhhhhhhh. Well. That’s a good joke.
I am reminded of one of the great passages in French literature, from chapter XIII of Rabelais’ “Gargantua and Pantagruel”.
Switching to goosenecks might save the earth, but it would likely annoy the geese.
Hmm, clearly I have some, er, holes to fill in my plebian education. That’s some damn pleasing humor!
Sa What! Sheryl, stick to sangin’, pickin. and producin’ recerds.
P.S. I still love you, honey lamb — come on home, now, ya’ hear!
Quoted from N64 Magazine: “Hahaha! We wipe but don’t wash. We’re so evil!”
Well, if I can help it, I skip the wipe and go straight to the wash. Mind you, it’s even greener to NOT flush the toilet every time you release the Yellow Tide. Just a few small scoops of water will suffice.
A comic for your mocking amusement. Update your post, yo! (Dated 24 April 2007 if you can’t find it a year from today):
http://www.ibdeditorials.com/cartoons.aspx
Bravo! Bravo!
Bring on the geese! There be many a goose on yonder golf courses. I shall attempt an arse wiping on my next outing. It may improve my putting.
Dooley
Every Day is a Winding Road. — Sheryl Crow
Sheryl Crow Ends Global-Warming Tour
By JOHN HEILPRIN
Associated Press Writer
April 23, 2007, 9:08 AM CDT
WASHINGTON — Their college tour ended, Sheryl Crow and Laurie David describe their efforts to stop global warming as part of the most important mission of the times.
That’s the hope of Grammy-winning rocker Crow and David, who produced “An Inconvenient Truth,” the global-warming movie that won the Oscar for best documentary.
“It’s great to go out and play music, and I love that, too. And it’s also nice to make money. But this is not that,” Crow said Sunday in an interview. “This is a whole bunch of people dedicating their time, their lives, working for free, for a mission. And it is the most important mission.”
The pair rode a biodiesel bus on a 12-campus tour to raise awareness about global warming by engaging students on the topic. It started earlier this month at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, and was timed to end on Earth Day.
David said “federal inaction is no longer acceptable” and is pressing for Congress to enact a bill to impose mandatory curbs on carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases within two years. She predicted the 2008 election would revolve around three main issues: jobs, terrorism and temperature.
“I just feel like if this isn’t addressed by this administration, if this administration isn’t hearing this message loud and clear, then I feel like there’s an irresponsibility,” Crow said.
The two women planned to meet with House Energy Chairman John Dingell, D-Mich., and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., on Monday.
Crow and David were interviewed before appearing at the tour’s last show at George Washington University with Grammy-winning musicians Tim McGraw, Faith Hill and Carole King.
Also speaking at the concert was David’s husband, Larry, a comedian and producer best known as co-creator of the TV show “Seinfeld,” and environmental advocate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
“Hurricane Katrina is just a taste of what’s to come if we don’t stop global warming,” Kennedy told some 2,000 people who turned out for the songs and speeches.
Crow opened with “A Change Would Do You Good” and did a spirited duet with King on “I Feel The Earth Move.” McGraw and Hill also performed.
Crow and David unsuccessfully tried to change the thinking of Karl Rove, President Bush’s top adviser, at a correspondents’ dinner Saturday night. “I honestly thought that I was going to change his mind, like, right there and then,” David said the interview.
Crow dedicated the closing number of the concert, sang by all the performers, to Rove, wryly calling him her “new friend.” The title: “We Can Work It Out,” written and made famous by The Beatles.
There is nothing more tedious than an entertainer who decides to become a scold. I would hate to go to a concert and have to listen to the sort of nonsense you describe.
Then don’t go, and make your life “a living prayer”.
Would someone please audit her house’s energy expenditure and her frequent-jetter miles and see if she beats fire-chief Travolta as Gore’s number 2?
Anyone with Sheryl Crow’s talent please step forward.
Anyone who is not Sheryl Crow, be pleased.
That’s what I figured.
Who is Cheryl Crowe?
My next ex-wife.